


When Nightmares Turn To Dreams

by walk_ng_d_saster



Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, First Time, Fluff, Forehead Kisses, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Making Love, Making Out, Night Terrors, Past Torture, Scars, Self-Harm, Sleeping Together, adding tags as I go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:15:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27041089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/walk_ng_d_saster/pseuds/walk_ng_d_saster
Summary: An innocent question about Carande's scars leads to a series of events that neither Theron nor Carande could have anticipated. Will this bring them closer together, or will it ultimately drive them apart?If you haven't read "When Rescue Missions Go Right" you should probably read that before you read thisThis fic will make more sense if you do.
Relationships: Male Imperial Agent | Cipher Nine/Theron Shan
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

“Carande, I just noticed you've got a bit of dirt or something smudged on your face... Want me to get that off of you?”

The question took Carande completely by surprise, and he turned his head to look at the SIS Agent seated in the copilot's seat. Theron appeared to have made himself right at home despite the fact that they were on an Imperial stealth vessel and not on a vessel with a layout that Theron would be more familiar with. His posture was relaxed, he looked perfectly comfortable, and he had obviously found his way over to the Caf Dispenser. There was a steaming, half-full travel mug of it clasped in one of his hands,

Carande had placed a similar mug in a cup-holder nearby, but he had already finished and so it was empty.

“If you don't mind, I would appreciate it.” Carande rose from the pilot's chair and walked around to perch on the console in front of Theron, who set his mug in one of the cup-holders to his right and then sat up straighter in his seat. His big, leather-clad hand found its way to the side of Carande's face, and a gentle thumb stroked his cheek before tracing up higher to – Oh, _crap_!

“Th-Those were _not_ dirt, Theron... but thank you,” Carande stammered, jerking his head back out of reach as he all but _scrambled_ back over to his side of the bridge. He could feel his heart racing as fight-or-flight adrenaline kicked in, but he sank ungracefully down into his chair, forcing himself to take some deep and even breaths and calm himself instead of giving into his sudden and overwhelming urge to flee. Fleeing would draw unwanted attention to himself, and he really didn't need to hear Kaliyo taunting him or to endure any more of Vector's concern. The Ratataki could be downright _ruthless_ in her commentary, and if Vector found out that he was freaking out he would park himself on the console next to Carande and bombard him with unwanted advice.

It was bad _enough_ that a single touch to the scars around his eyes could cause him to have a fight-or-flight response.

“Carande?” Theron's soft voice sliced its way into his thoughts, and he opened eyes he hadn't realized he'd closed to look up at the taller man. The SIS Agent's bruised eye from his capture on Rishi had healed up nicely, as had the cuts on his cheek. His brown hair was perfectly spiked into his signature faux-hawk, the implants around his left eye had been polished to a high sheen, and the bronzed skin was once again smooth and flawless. The graceful yet angular features that Carande had come to appreciate were softer about the edges with concern, and in this moment Theron's eyes were darker and more green than gold. Now it was Theron's turn to rise and walk over to perch himself on a console, leaning closer so they wouldn't have to speak very loudly.

The SIS Agent was still wearing that red and black jacket of his. He wore it with leather gloves in two shades of brown, the soft long-sleeved brown shirt he always wore underneath it, the brown pants made of a rough fabric that had a blue stripe running the length of his leg, a brown leather belt, and those black boots that always came up to his knee. The outfit hugged Theron in all the right places and made his already broad shoulders seem even broader because of the massive shoulder pads. The look suited him, however, and while fantasizing Carande had found it impossible to imagine Theron wearing anything else.

“Are those... Are those _scars_ , Carande?” Theron finally asked. His voice sounded gentle, low and soft. A balm to Carande's ears. That voice, combined with the soft expression on the SIS Agent's face, was all it took to have him wanting to confess.

“Yes, Theron... They are scars,” Carande replied. “There was a mission... Long ago.”

“What _happened_ to you?” Theron's voice rose ever so slightly and Carande glared at him in warning. He watched as the SIS Agent squirmed uncomfortably where he sat but ultimately seemed to get himself under control, shooting Carande an apologetic look.

“If it's all the same to you, Theron... I would rather not talk about it. _Not to you_.” Carande replied, in a tone that left no room for argument. This was _not_ Carande Thilan speaking. This was the cool, collected monotone of _Cipher Nine_. Through muscle memory alone, he schooled his expression to one of flat neutrality and then turned his gaze away from Theron to focus on the blur of the stars they were passing. The ship was currently in hyperdrive and they were on their way to the Imperial Fleet Station for a refuel. After that, they would be making their way to Yavin-4. Carande had already wired the credits over to the station to cover the costs of refuelling, and all they had to do was land, load up the supplies he had ordered for the crew, and allow the ship to be serviced before they would be taking off again.

A soft and resigned _sigh_ drew Carande's attention back to Theron, and upon looking up he realized that the SIS Agent's eyes were _sad_ , now, and over-bright with a shimmer of moisture that hadn't been there before. Without ever intending to, he had _hurt_ the man.

“Theron,” said Carande, and was rewarded with a slight hitch of breath and Theron's now mostly-green eyes locking onto his own amber ones. He lifted a gloved hand to gently stroke Theron's cheek, using his thumb to catch a tear that was starting to fall. “ _Please_ don't take this personally or make this any harder than it has to be on yourself. The intimacy that we shared on Rishi was... Well it was something _special_. I'm just _not_ _ready_ to discuss my scars with _anyone_ – much less an SIS Agent who will end up on the opposite side of the war after we're finished on Yavin-4. We have such precious little time to get to know each other, and I'd rather focus on making _good_ memories that we can carry with us forever. I want to be the reason you look up to the stars and _smile_.”

“O-okay then,” came the shaky reply, and Theron forced himself to take a deep and steadying breath. “I'll remember that.”

“If the _timing_ were more appropriate, I would tell you _everything_ ,” Carande promised. A quick and subtle glance towards the door told him that no one was there to see it, so he rose from his seat and opened his arms to Theron. Theron, eyes still damp, leaned forward to trustingly rest his head against Carande's chest. Carande responded to this by wrapping his arms around him. He gently stroked the short brown hair while taking care not to knock any of Theron's spikes out of alignment, and then he leaned down to drop a soft kiss onto Theron's forehead. Then the SIS Agent's arms came to wrap around his lower back and Theron nuzzled into him, squeezing him gently. This time the sigh was one of contentment, and Carande couldn't help but smile at the sight.

They must have stayed that way for some time, because when Carande next looked up they had dropped out of hyperspace.

It was time to land, refuel and restock his supplies. Then it was off to Yavin-4 for the next phase of their mission.

-o-

The trip to Yavin-4 was for the most part uneventful. Most of Carande's crew were keeping to themselves and as a result, Theron had been able to explore the ship freely with only the slightest bit of harassment from Kaliyo or the odd hello from Raina or from Doctor Lokin. Carande pulled out a little portable heating element at mealtimes, and everyone except for SCORPIO would line up with their chosen forms of sustenance and wait for their turn to heat up their food. Theron's food and supplies were packaged somewhat differently than the Imperial rations, but at the end of the day it all reheated and cooked up the same.

At one point, Vector offered to trade a few containers of white membrosia for one bar of the chocolate rations that Theron had brought with him. Theron, who had never tasted such a thing, had readily accepted the trade. This sparked some animated discussions between the Killik Joiner and the SIS Agent, as Vector explained about Membrosia and Theron asked him questions about the process of becoming joined. Did it hurt? Did Vector have any regrets? Did joining give Vector any tactical advantages?

Vector took all of this in stride, and answered Theron to the best of his knowledge.

For Carande, the time was spent in constant preparation for what he would have to do once they landed. He read and reread all of the notes he'd made about the Revanites. He bounced ideas off of Doctor Lokin, brushed up on his hand-to-hand combat with Raina and Vector, and ensured that all of his gear was in good working order. Seeing that his portable stealth generator was on its last legs, he fetched a brand new one from his closet and chucked the old one out into the common area – where it promptly disappeared as SCORPIO poked her head out of the engine room and salvaged what few components she could use on _herself_.

After three days and thee nights of preparation and planning, the ship dropped out of hyperspace. They had _arrived_.

-o-

“Have _you_ seen Cipher Nine, Theron?” That was Lana again, and she sounded concerned. That wasn't the thing that caused Theron to narrow his eyes and frown at her, though. Oh no. Instead, it was the _title_ she was using to describe Carande. Had anyone ever bothered to treat Carande like a human being instead of... well, a _weapon_? Was Carande so unimportant to Lana and Darth Marr that neither of them could be bothered to learn his name? Was he really so expendable?

Then again... Carande didn't seem to be very forthcoming with Lana – not after she had allowed Theron to be captured on Rishi.

That in itself had been a shocker. Not only had Carande defended Theron against Lana's cool logic, but the Cipher Agent had raised his voice at her, telling her that if she did not apologize to Theron for her underhanded tactics, he would cut her loose and open up a channel to collaborate with _Satele_ instead. _Most Imperials are_ _ **not**_ _these cold, heartless, xenophobic monsters that are portrayed in the media,_ Carande had said. _Let's be better. Let's show our Republic allies how fair, reasonable, and civilized we can be._

“I'll go and look for him,” Theron replied. “He's three hours late to the conference table at this point, and I'm starting to get worried myself.” Without a further word, he turned on his heel and made his way over to where Carande's ship was landed.

The sleek and streamlined silhouette of the ship was distorted by its mirrored side panelling, and it blended into the trees. If Theron was being honest he would say that the appearance and layout of _The Phantom_ was more like a luxurious shuttle than a fully capable starship, but during the trip to the Imperial Fleet he had seen the ship in action. A few Revanites had tried to tail them and attack, but some quick thinking and nimble aerobatics from Carande had sent them fleeing for their lives. The ship had performed _beautifully_ in combat, and proved to be just as deadly as a ship ten times its size.

It took a bit of effort, but soon Theron had sliced his way into the ship's entrance and made his way inside.

None of Carande's crew were on board. They all were out and about, exploring in the lush jungles that surrounded the camp. SCORPIO in particular had seemed eager to test herself against the Revanites and she was the first to trek off into the underbrush looking for people to kill. Doctor Lokin had gone off to collect research samples of the local flora and fauna. Vector had taken up a post just outside the camp to protect the people inside. Raina and Kaliyo were beside the conference table and talking to Darth Marr, and if all went according to plans then it would just be Theron and Carande. He felt comfortable enough to walk inside as long as it was only the Cipher Agent on board. The others, if he was being honest with himself, he could take or leave.

Well, _alright_... Vector had been somewhat endearing. He had interesting things to say, and the white membrosia had been _delicious_.

He approached the door to Carande's quarters and keyed in the code he'd been given. The door let out a _bleep_ , then slid open.

Carande had allowed Theron the use of his living quarters for the storage of belongings and gear, and he'd been kind enough to offer his room as a space for Theron to sleep. Theron had politely declined the offer and had chosen a bunk for himself, not wanting to impose or overstep his boundaries. The odd thing about that though, was that Carande had seemed... _relieved_?

Why had he been so relieved by the idea of sleeping alone when he could have spent the night in Theron's arms?

Theron didn't have long to muse about that, because the moment he stepped into the room he was deafened by a _scream_. It was the agonized scream of someone who was being _tortured_ , and now Carande was sitting up. He whipped his head around in every direction, eyes wide open and face covered in a sheen of sweat. The sleek silver implants framing his face looked a bit tarnished, the inky strands of his hair were all in disarray, and his eyeliner and lip-liner were a sweat-smudged and tear-streaked mess. His golden complexion was somewhat washed out and pale, and he had the dark discolored circles around his eyes again. For clothing he was wearing black socks, black leather pants and another of those sleeveless black turtleneck sweaters that went with his combat leathers. It was as though he'd started to get dressed and ready for the day's missions but had been unable to keep himself awake long enough to finish or to make it out the door.

On Rishi, Carande's smile had lit up the room... but now?

Now, Theron stared in horror as the unflappable _Cipher Nine_ folded in on himself, hugged his own knees, and started to _cry._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theron's a sweetheart. That's all that needs to be said here.

Theron's capture on Rishi had brought the worst of Carande's memories back up to the surface.

They manifested in the form of night terrors that made Carande wake up sweating and shaking on a good day, scream himself raw on a moderate day, and _throw up_ on the worst days -- like he had on the previous night. Toovee had come into his quarters, fussed about the fact that he'd made a mess, and immediately shooed him out so the sick could be cleaned up and the living quarters sanitized. He'd been lucky that in all of the droid's fussing, none of the crew had heard any of it or come out to see what the problem was... The odd mixture of Vector's concern and Kaliyo's mocking criticisms were _not_ what he needed just then.

Then again, Carande didn't know _what_ he needed. The terrors had come and gone for the last seven years, and with every instance they returned they ate away at what little was left of him, reducing him to a hollowed out husk who had all but forgotten how to smile. A husk who screamed himself awake in the night and cried until he was dehydrated in the morning – like he was doing now.

Once, he had been vibrant and full of life -- consumed by a deep and _burning_ passion for the performing arts. He'd been the best student in his drama class, and there had been no one that could out-perform him in song or dance. His teachers had praised him, and his classmates complained when they had to be paired up with anyone that _wasn't_ him. He'd been the star or the co-star in every major production the teacher had planned for them, and the first to master the choreography for every musical number. He'd been the student everyone was told to watch, and the teachers knew he could be trusted to tutor those who were less skilled.

Now, he had fallen so far away from that happy place that it was a miracle that he could get out of bed at all. _Everything hurt_.

The walls of his quarters on the _Phantom_ suddenly shifted and began to close in on Carande, and he squeezed his eyes tightly shut and buried his head in his knees with a soft cry, His numbed fingers clutched at his shins and his fingernails bit little crescents into the buttery smooth leather that encased them. There was a risk of ruining the leather if he gripped himself any tighter, but at this point it felt like he'd shake apart if he _didn't_ hold on. There was nothing to do but keep clinging until the feeling had passed.

 _Stars_... Would he _ever_ be able to go a year without this _torture_?

Before Carande's mind could drag him further into the abyss, a warm and comforting weight settled against his side, and more of the warmth wrapped around his shoulders. Accompanying the warmth and the weight was the musky smell of leather and a pleasantly spiced aftershave, and it draped itself over him like a weighted blanket or a comforting pair of wings. The walls receded, and with them went the _panic_ causing him to hyperventilate. Suddenly he found that he could breathe again, and he did so in great, gasping breaths. He counted each breath on the exhale, and through sheer strength of will he forced himself back to the surface.

“Oh, _good_... You're back from wherever you went. I was starting to worry,” came a soft, relieved voice from beside him.

The warm weight tightened around him in a squeeze, and slowly the shell-shocked Agent came to realize that it wasn't a blanket or a pair of wings at all. Instead it was a pair of _arms_. A pair of arms that were clad in familiar brown and red layers of leather, The big leather clad hands were gently rubbing his shoulders as the heat of Theron's body seeped into his own, warming him from the inside out. It was unexpected, yet it felt so _good_ that Carande couldn't have controlled his emotional response if he tried.

A fresh wave of tears spilled forth from tired amber eyes, and without even looking up at Theron he turned in the SIS Agent's arms and buried his face against the soft brown shirt that peeked out from underneath all the leather. His arms went around Theron's waist and he clung tightly, shaking with the force of his sobs. His makeup would no doubt be a mess and he was probably getting eyeliner and snot and tears all over Theron's shirt, but Theron was going to have to deal with it. After seven years of holding it in and keeping all of it to himself, he was relieved to have someone _know_... After Rishi, Theron would not only know this pain, but he would also be able to _understand_ where it was coming from. Carande was sure of it.

“Hey... Hey.. I've got you, You're going to be alright,” Theron whispered, and the fingers of one of the SIS Agent's hands began to stroke through Carande's hair, fingertips rubbing his scalp in soothing circular motions, “Just let it all out... I'm not leaving.”

-o-

Nothing in Theron's training could have prepared him for this. He was holding a former enemy in his arms, and of all the possible things that could happen, Carande bursting into tears was not something he'd planned for. He'd never seen anyone so _sad_.

The smaller man's hair felt soft even through his gloves, so without thinking he peeled off the layer of leather and buried his fingertips in the silky strands. The action caused the Cipher Agent in his arms to shiver a little, but then he felt a soft press of lips against his chest through a shirt that was smudged with Carande's makeup and possibly dampened by snot as well as tears. It didn't matter, though. Nothing mattered. He could fetch a clean shirt from his belongings before returning to the conference table, and he could help the smaller agent relax. The only thing that mattered to Theron after their intimacy was that Carande was going to recover from whatever this was and be able to finish the mission that had started so many months ago. The younger man's skill and experience had proven invaluable when he'd come to rescue Theron, and if anyone was going to put a stop to this situation with the Revanites than it was going to be Carande. He couldn't shake the feeling that Carande was _important_.

“Thank you, Theron,” Carande whispered after a while. His voice was raspy because crying so hard had dried him out, but at least he sounded like himself. He wasn't looking up at Theron, but at the same time he appeared to be getting himself under control.

“You're welcome, Carande.” Theron replied. “I'm not going to force you to tell me what all of this was about... but I was worried about you, you know? You might be a crucial part of the mission, but you're also important to _me_.”

“Why are you being so nice to me? I'm the enemy as soon as this is over.” Carande muttered, his amber gaze directed at his feet. He made no move to shake Theron's arms off of him, but the SIS Agent could feel the slight form tensing up under his hands.

“I'm _nice_ because I like _you_ , Carande.” Theron squeezed Carande's shoulders reassuringly, then he shifted and pulled the smaller man up into his lap. “I've cared about you since the moment I first saw you on Manaan, and that feeling is stronger now than ever before. The intimacy we shared on Rishi plays a small part in it, yes, but I think I would do _anything_ to see you smile.”

“ _Anything,_ you say?” Carande slyly asked. He'd allowed himself to be pulled into Theron's lap readily enough, and now he had an arm around the taller man's waist and was resting his head comfortably against a shoulder clad in stiff leather. His small frame was nestled perfectly into Theron's arms, but he was looking up at Theron with the slightest of smirks on his face.

“Well okay, _almost_ anything.” Theron corrected, but he couldn't help the smile of relief that spread across his face. It was a smile he was pleased to notice that Carande was attempting to return, The other corner of the smaller man's mouth quirked upwards ever so slightly, and there was more of a sparkle in the amber eyes that hadn't been there before. “I _won't_ be handing over any SIS clearance codes or spilling any of the republic's best-kept secrets, thank you very much.”

“Oh, you're no fun at _all_ ,” Carande let out an overly dramatic sigh and pretended to pout, but then in the same breath he looked up at Theron and smiled properly like he had when they were on Rishi. A real smile that reached his eyes and made the Cipher Agent's face look softer, sweeter and breathtakingly _beautiful_. How hadn't he noticed how long the Imperial's eyelashes were, or that the smaller man's lips looked so soft and so kissable? Sure they had kissed back on Rishi, but this was the first time that Theron could truly see _Carande._ A sad, lonely, obviously _broken_ young man who had lived a nightmare for much of his short life.

Then again...

“If you don't mind me asking, Carande... how old are you?”

“Twenty-five,” Carande replied. He'd been caught off guard by the question and it was obvious, but right in front of Theron's eyes he seemed to pull himself back together. The questions he fired back took the SIS Agent by surprise. “Why does it matter? More importantly, I should be asking _you_ the same thing. How old are _you_?”

“I'm twenty-eight, and it matters because you seemed so mature for your age.” Theron soothingly rubbed Carande's shoulders as he spoke, and was pleased to feel the younger man relax and lean into the touch. “I thought you were much older, honestly.”

“Well, now you know,” Carande replied. “Hopefully I haven't put you off.”

“Are you kidding? I'm relieved that you're not a child just barely through his train-” He fell silent as Carande held up a hand, and there was a moment of awkward silence. Carande took a breath as if steeling himself for something, and Theron's heart sank.

Oh... Oh _no_...

“I was only _eighteen_ when this happened, Theron,” Carande told him, gesturing to his scars and confirming Theron's fears. “I had just finished qualifying to become one of the top agents in the field. Keeper told me I would shed my former identity and become _Cipher Nine_. That I was the top of my class back at the Academy. That no other student could do what I _can_ do. They sent me out on my first ever mission, and I was captured, taken back to an enemy base, and beaten and tortured within an inch of my life. They repeatedly broke my bones and then healed them. They burnt me. They electrocuted me. They fed me only enough that I wouldn't black out, and they kept injecting me with stims to keep me awake and aware of what they we--” Carande abruptly fell silent as Theron raised his hand to stop him. Those beautiful amber eyes were shining as if he might start to cry again.

“Don't get me wrong,” Theron began, softly. He punctuated his sentence with a gentle squeeze to the smaller man still sitting in his lap. “As much as I'm touched to see you be so honest with me,.. I know you didn't _really_ want to tell me all of this.”

“I _lied_ , Theron, and for that I apologize,” came the stunning reply as Carande suddenly looked up and fixed his gaze on Theron's. “I lied because I thought that if you saw me this way and if you knew what was done to me... You wouldn't want me anymore.” With those words, he dropped his gaze to his lap and sighed softly. A single tear slid its way down a golden cheek, and Carande lifted a hand to wipe it away before it could drip onto his conbat leathers. “No one wants a tired, jaded, hollowed out husk for a partner.”

“You're wrong, Carande,” As Carande's eyes welled up with tears again, Theron leaned in to kissed the corners of them, tasting a hint of salt as he caught the tears before they could fall. “You're wrong because _I_ want you, and I won't take _no_ for an answer.”

“Don't be ridiculous. I could _never_ say no to you!” The loud and passionate reply from the smaller man caused Theron to blink and pull back, eyes wide. Carande was now _glaring_ at him as though he _wasn't_ seated in Theron's lap and leaning against him for comfort, “You're the first person to _care_... To _listen_ to me without trying to judge me or diagnose me or put me on medication that further alters my mind. You're the first to truly _see_ me and _hear_ me in what feels like kriffing _forever_. I had begun to think I was insignificant, expendable... A doll to dress up and manipulate until broken. A tool to discard when it has outlived its usefulness.”

“Stars... Do I know what _that_ feels like,” Theron replied, bending to kiss Carande's tears away again. “I'm an Agent too, remember? If _anyone_ understands what it means to be treated like a tool or a weapon... it's me. You're not alone, Carande.” He straightened back up, but reached for one of Carande's small hands. He interlocked his fingers with Carande's and squeezed gently, smiling when the smaller agent recovered his wits enough to squeeze back and smile up at him through his tears. “I don't know how long this truce will last, but I promise to be here for as long as I can. If you need to talk. If you need to cry again. Even if you just want _company_. Come sit and talk with me.” Each statement Theron made was punctuated by another squeeze to Carande's hand.

“Theron... Be careful,” Carande whispered. “Be very, _very_ careful.”

“ _What?_ ” Theron stared at Carande, completely caught off guard, “ _Why?_ ”

“Because with every kind word you say,..” Carande sat up straighter and pressed a soft kiss to Theron's lips. Theron immediately kissed back, and the two of them _held_ the kiss until they needed to part for air. When they parted Carande's lips and cheeks were a little rosier. His amber eyes were shining and had softened about the corners. His pupils had dilated a touch. His voice dropped a little lower as he continued to speak, and there was a huskiness to his words that made Theron's heart beat a little bit faster and sent a shiver of pleasure down the length of his spine. “...I fall more and more in _love_ with you.”

-o-

So much for not getting attached... _Now_ what was he going to do?

Had anyone told Carande he would fall so hard and so fast for an enemy agent when this situation with the Revanites had started, he would have _cackled_ , fallen out of his chair, and told that person to get their head examined. Now, however, he had a unique situation on his hands, and he was determined to take advantage of it. Not only did Theron seem to return Carande's feelings, but he genuinely seemed to care about him as a person. It was the first time in his adult life that he'd been treated like a human being, and damn it, he was going to enjoy every moment of it. He'd have to do something about the others, though... Hmm...

Not giving Theron a chance to stop him, Carande straightened up and then commed Lana. He limited it to audio-only. There was no logical reason to show Lana how close he was to the SIS Agent -- _not_ when she had gotten Theron tortured once. His distrust was the consequence she would have to deal with after she'd given truth to the stereotype that Imperials and Sith Lords are not to be trusted. Her actions had jeopardized this entire mission, and Carande was _not_ about to let that go.

“Lana, This is _Cipher Nine_. Come in, Lana.” The flat monotone came easily now that Carande's emotions had calmed.

“ _Cipher!_ ” Lana's voice came through the comms in a rush. “You're _alive!_ Has Theron found you yet?!”

“Yes, Lana, Theron found me... but I regret to inform you that I am not feeling well enough to begin the mission today. I've got a touch of a stomach bug and I've been throwing up. Something I ate on Rishi must not have agreed with me.” The smooth lie had caught Theron's attention now, and Carande could feel the SIS Agent's gaze as if someone was poking him repeatedly, “Please let the others know that I will come to the conference table in a day or two, and give them my sincerest apologies.”

“Oh... Alright. If that's all it was,” Lana replied. “I shall inform the others and we shall eagerly await your recovery. Lana out.” There came a soft static sound as Lana severed the connection, and Carande let out a sigh of relief, slumping against Theron's chest.

“Carande, are you always in the habit of lying to your allies?” Theron asked, stroking the inky strands of Carande's hair.

“SCORPIO, Kaliyo, and Lana,” Carande replied. “SCORPIO tends to be arrogant and condescending and so I rarely speak the truth to her. Kaliyo and I have never gotten along because she has never treated me with respect or been completely honest with me. Lana has proven herself to be less than trustworthy after what was allowed to happen to you. I was going to tell her my real name before she pulled that stunt, but not now and perhaps not _ever_ , I've already sliced and coded my way into the system to be sure it was redacted from all of the databases... and it was. She can't find my name or learn anything about me unless I tell her myself.”

“I can't say I blame you,” said Theron. “Just _please_ try your best to be honest with me... I won't hurt you.”

“You haven't given me any reason to doubt you, Theron.” Carande paused for a moment and gave Theron a smile that the SIS Agent returned. “You've been wonderful, and I don't know if I will ever find the words to tell you how grateful I am. Truly.”

Having said all that he needed to say, Carande squirmed in Theron's lap and made himself more comfortable, resting his cheek against Theron's chest and sighing contentedly as he curled up into the taller man, Thankfully, he hadn't snotted all over Theron's shirt like he had feared he would. Instead there were a few inconspicuous black smudges where his eyeliner had run, and no one would notice those unless he specifically pointed them out. Good. All was as it should be, or rather it was _better_ than it should be.

 _Theron_ made it better.

They settled into a comfortable silence as the SIS Agent wrapped an arm snugly around him and carded his fingers through the short, silky strands of the Cipher Agent's hair. With every touch of Theron's fingertips, Carande's eyelids drooped further and further shut until finally he slipped away into a deep, peaceful, and dreamless sleep. His last conscious thoughts were of Theron, of how safe he felt all wrapped up in the taller man's arms, and how warm and soothing those fingers felt in his hair.

When he did dream, it was only of spiky brown hair, skin a shade darker than his own, and gentle green-golden eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to heat up for our two star-crossed agents.

When Carande woke, he became aware of two things. First was that his room was now dark and he'd been arranged into a comfortable position on his bed, and the second was that he was no longer held in Theron's arms. Disappointing, but not surprising. Carande was sure that after a time, the SIS Agent would have needed to leave his side and report to the others about his condition.

Pushing himself up off the bed, he glanced at the glowing chrono and groaned aloud. Midnight. No sense comming Theron to thank him again, then. The taller man would probably be asleep or very close to it by now. Probably best to shower, wash off what remained of his makeup so it could be redone, and change into some clothes that hadn't been cried on. Then, he'd probably need to eat something. With the night terrors making him physically ill he hadn't had much of an appetite... Now, he was _ravenous_.

Flipping on the lights along with some soft music to flood his quarters with the sound, Carande stripped himself out of his soiled clothes and tossed them into the laundry for Toovee to worry about later. He wrapped himself from the neck down in an overly fluffy purple bathrobe that was probably three sizes too big on him, and quietly slipped into the small bathroom that was connected to his quarters. A moment later the robe was hung from a hook next to the shower and he had stepped under the hot spray of the water. Yes. Water. _No_ sonic shower today. He was going to treat himself to a _real_ shower, even if he used up his daily water ration.

He felt that he deserved at least one hot shower after last night's ordeal.

As miserable as Carande had felt for the past few days, there was nothing like a water shower to wash away all of his troubles. The heat combined with the massage setting of the jets sank into the tensed up muscles of his neck and shoulders and melted all the knots away, relaxing him and easing his aches and pains. It felt like _heaven_ , so he decided he'd take his sweet time.

He carefully and meticulously washed his face, removing all of the gunk and the remnants of makeup. As soon as he'd done that and replaced the grimy feeling with the tingling skin of cleanliness, Carande began to feel human again. With the return of cleanliness his good mood returned as well, and soon he found himself humming pleasantly along to the music that was playing. No one was here to harass him. No one was here to rub his face in his weakness. No one was here to bother him with unwanted opinions or unwanted advice. No one was here to order him around. He could just be himself. He could just be _Carande_ for the moment.

As he lathered up his hair, his humming grew louder and before he knew it, he was _singing_. His tenor filled the small bathroom.

-o-

Just outside Carande's quarters, curled on the couch in the common area, Theron Shan woke with a start.

A sudden source of light had startled him awake and he sat up in a panic, head whipping around in every direction before he realized that the light in Carande's quarters was on, shining through the gap under the door. Shadows indicated that the smaller man was padding across the room, presumably heading for the bathroom Theron had noticed was conveniently attached. He couldn't hear anything, though. There was a curious absence of sound despite the fact that Carande was obviously freshening himself up, Curious, and honestly a little bit alarming considering the state the Cipher Agent had been in when he'd fallen asleep.

Theron knew that he shouldn't slice into Carande's quarters again, but after seeing the smaller man crying and nearly shaking himself apart in his arms, he couldn't help but be a little worried by the silence. He'd have to check on Carande and make sure he was going to be okay. It wouldn't do to leave him alone and then find him dead by his own hand in the morning.

His mind made up, Theron crossed over to the small doorway and punched the codes into the keypad to let himself in.

The door hissed open and then closed behind him, and as soon as he'd stepped inside he immediately became aware of the soft music that was playing. From underneath the closed door of the bathroom, steam billowed out. Then, through the thinner metal of the bathroom door, he heard it – a rich, clear tenor that soared along in perfect harmony with the female singer on the holonet. It was a surprisingly deep voice considering how much smaller Carande was, but the tone of it filled Theron's heart with warmth. The sound of the Cipher Agent's voice was so unexpectedly and indescribably lovely that the SIS Agent's eyes closed of their own volition and he found himself leaning against the wall just inside the door, tapping his foot along to the tempo of the song.

Theron was so far gone that he didn't notice when the shower stopped running, or that the bathroom door had hissed open...

-o-

“ _What the hell, Theron?!_ ” Carande couldn't contain his shout as he wrapped the fuzzy purple bathrobe tighter around himself.

To Theron's credit, the taller man's eyes went comically wide at the sight of Carande fresh out of the shower. He stammered something that sounded a lot like an apology, bowed his head to Carande repeatedly, then spun on his heel and all but _scrambled_ out of the room, shutting the door behind himself. If it wasn't for the tingling of his recently scrubbed skin and the pleasant lingering heat of the shower he'd just taken, Carande would have thought he was still asleep. If he were still asleep, then that would certainly explain why Theron had blushed as red as his jacket and fled while trying desperately not to check him out. There was no way in hell that an SIS Agent could react so comically to a freshly showered Cipher Agent.

Chuckling quietly to himself, Carande took his time getting dressed, selecting a pair of soft black pants, some fuzzy black and purple striped socks, and a purple sleeveless shirt that fit him loosely and comfortably. If he was supposed to be recovering from a stomach virus or from food poisoning, he needed his alibi to be plausible – and that meant being less polished and not wearing makeup – wearing clothes that were loose and comfortable and easy to change out of if he sicked up. His hair, washed clean of the oils that kept it smooth and glossy, fluffed up around his head like a dark halo. The texture of it was feathery and light, and very soft.

After hanging the bathrobe back on its hook on the wall to dry, Carande flipped off the holonet and padded out into the common area, heading for a small locked cupboard and cooling unit that held the few fresh ingredients and seasonings that he kept to himself.. He wasn't much of a cook and tended to favour simpler meals that were easy to prepare, so in this case he was going to make a stir-fry that would replenish a lot of the vitamins and minerals he was missing after having no appetite at all. If Theron hadn't run off too far, perhaps he could make enough for the SIS Agent to have some as well. It had been a while since either of them had eaten some real food that wasn't dehydrated or out of a shelf-stable packet, and this was a way he could say thank you.

After a few minutes of setup, Carande had everything out that he needed. The cooking element had been pulled out of storage and so had a pan with high sides. The peppers and bean sprouts and other vegetables took little preparation because he had already washed them before placing them in the cooling unit. All he had to do was chop them into the desired size and toss them into the pan. These, along with some precut slices of bantha meat and a generous splash of his favourite kind of cooking oil, became the base of the stir-fry. The oil imparted a rich and slightly nutty flavour to any food that was cooked in it, and Carande personally found that to be delicious. The oil, along with a squirt or two of different condiments and dried seasonings formed a simple sweet and sour sauce with just a hint of a spicy kick, and the aroma flooded through the interior of the starship.

He didn't have any noodles or grains to serve the stir-fry with, but it would still be filling and nutritious.

The scent of cooking food had the desired effect, because after a moment Theron came back from wherever he'd run off to. To his delight, Carande could hear the SIS Agent take a deep breath through his nose as he took in the scent of the stir-fry. A smile slowly spread across Theron's face on the exhale, and the taller man came closer to take a look at what Carande was preparing.

“You can have some of this if you'd like,” Carande offered. “It tastes better fresh and it won't keep, and I'd hate to let good food go to waste.” To demonstrate that it wasn't poisoned, he speared a pepper with a fork and took a bite in front of Theron.

“If you're _sure_ , then thank you... it smells too good to resist,” Theron replied. His green-golden eyes were shining with some sort of emotion. Perhaps it was gratitude, or perhaps the taller man was pleased by the prospect of real food. Whatever it was, it didn't really matter. What mattered the most to Carande was that he could do this for Theron, just this once. All he wanted to do was say thank you to the SIS Agent who, if Carande was being honest, had probably saved his life. He had a reason to _live_ , now.

“I'm sure, Theron. My eyes were definitely bigger than my stomach here.” Carande punctuated his sentence with a quick motion of his hand, turning off the small portable burner he'd been cooking on. From a nearby cupboard he retrieved two bowls, and then he quickly and methodically served half of the stir-fry to Theron and half of the stir-fry to himself. To make up for the slice of sweet red pepper he had already eaten, he took a similar piece of pepper out of his own bowl and placed it on top of the other serving. He then retrieved a second fork, stuck it into the bowl with the red pepper on top, and nudged it towards the SIS Agent. “Enjoy.”

“Let's sit down and eat this properly,” Theron suggested. Taking the offered bowl, he gestured towards the couch.

“Okay,” Agreed Carande, picking up his own bowl. “We'll do that.”

Together the two of them crossed the small common area with their bowls and sat down on the couch. Then, after giving Carande a nod of thanks, Theron took a bite of the stir-fry. Carande watched with bated breath as Theron took his first bite. The SIS Agent was taking his time, chewing slowly and thoughtfully before swallowing.

The curiosity was eating Carande alive.

-o-

“Well... How is it?” Carande asked, his voice sounding soft and rather... _shy_? “Not _horrible_ , I hope.”

“Are you _kidding_?” Theron asked. “This stir-fry is the best thing I've eaten in _months_. How did you make the sauce?”

To demonstrate how much he was enjoying the meal, Theron speared himself another bite and quickly popped it into his mouth, chewing and swallowing much quicker this time. For such a simple dish, it was bursting with plenty of flavour. The vegetables were perfectly cooked to the point of being tender-crisp, sweeter from the cooking process and not mushy. The strips of bantha meat were so tender that they melted on his tongue like butter. There was a delicious, nutty flavour layered underneath a sauce that was appealingly sweet and sour and had just the slightest hint of a fiery and peppery kick. Nothing extreme – but nothing _plain_ either.

“Oh... It's nothing special. It's just a few odds and ends that I had in my personal storage,” Carande replied. He spoke somewhat nonchalantly and he punctuated his statement with a shrug before shifting his attention to his own bowl. Theron watched as the Cipher Agent took a few bites of his stir-fry, and saw those amber eyes slide closed as he gave a hum of approval. He also noticed, for the first time, that Carande's hair lacked its usual sleek appearance and was fluffed up rather adorably around his head. The scars around Carande's eyes were also much more prominent, so Theron figured that now that the smaller man was clean he wasn't wearing any concealer or other forms of makeup to try and make them look less obvious. They were the lingering signs of a torture most _horrific_ , and Theron's heart _ached_ for the pain the smaller man had endured.

 _Stars_... it was as if Carande's captors had tried to _ruin_ those eyes, jealous of how beautiful they were.

“Well, it's delicious. Thank you,” Theron told him, looking the agent right in the eye. “Thank you for sharing.”

“Honestly, it was the least I could do.” Carande scooted on the curved couch so he was sitting closer, his knees were now practically touching Theron's, and his amber gaze was locked on. Theron almost felt as if he was being scanned by those eyes as Carande continued to speak, his voice softer and gentler than Theron had ever heard from him. “You stayed with me. You listened. You didn't judge me. You made me feel safe and wanted for the first time in _forever_. You held me until I fell asleep, and because of you I didn't have any nightmares. I slept in peace and quiet, and the only things to interrupt that peace were pleasant dreams.”

“Oh, really?” Theron's voice cracked at the end of the question, but it wasn't from nerves so much as the way Carande was still looking at him and nodding his head. The Cipher Agent's tired features had softened about the edges and his lips were curved upwards into the gentlest of smiles. He gazed up at Theron so _adoringly_ that it made the SIS Agent's breath catch in his throat, and they leaned closer to each other, drawn in as if by the pull of an invisible magnet, neither wanting to look away from the other. For a moment, it was almost as if Carande wanted to close the distance between them with a kiss.

“Yes, Theron. Really,” Carande's smile grew a little wider. “You've been so _good_ to me, and I can't thank you enough.”

As quickly as it came the moment passed, as both of them returned their attention to their rapidly cooling food.

-o-

Cleanup of the dishes had been a simple affair. Toovee wandered into the common area and, seeing Carande with Theron and their empty bowls, had offered to clean everything and put everything away for them so that they could go to bed. Carande readily accepted the offer, thanking the silver droid. He excused himself, rising from the couch and walking over to the entrance of his quarters. Then, he realized that he was being somewhat rude and stopped, turning back to face Theron.

The SIS Agent was watching him, his green-golden eyes still locked on.

“Come along, my dear,” Carande murmured, beckoning for Theron to follow him into his quarters, “You must be _exhausted_ after watching out for me all day. You should get some rest.” Not waiting for a reply, he turned and entered his quarters. He heard rather than saw Theron rise and obey him. The SIS Agent's boots sounded heavier than usual on the metal floors, dragging a little.

Once they were safely sealed inside of the bedroom, Carande turned and wordlessly began to help the taller man out of his gloves, jacket, and bracers. Theron seemed to collect himself enough after that to undo and remove his belt, and after a moment he perched on the edge of the bed to take off his boots and socks. Once that was done, and Theron was left only in his soft long-sleeved shirt and his pants with the stripe up the leg, he coaxed Theron to crawl up onto the bed and lay himself properly down.

Theron _did_ lay down, but after a moment he reached out for Carande's hand and gently pulled him down to lay with him.

“You know...” Theron began, once Carande was laying down and facing him. “As weird as it is to say this, I could love you.”

“The feeling is mutual,” Carande softly replied, and he shifted closer on the bed to wrap himself around Theron. “What we shared on Rishi... That _wasn't_ just sex, or friends fooling around, or two allies seeking comfort in each other... It means more to me than that.”

“Carande... would you object if I kissed you again, right now?” Theron suddenly asked, punctuating his question with a gentle caress to the Cipher Agent's cheek. Gentle fingers traced over his cybernetics and sent shivers of anticipation skittering down his spine so he shook his head, leaning into the caress and welcoming the SIS Agent's touch. His eyes closed of their own accord.

In response to the nonverbal permission, Theron closed the distance between them and snaked his arms around Carande. Their lips met in a kiss so gentle and so sweet that Carande felt tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. He squirmed closer to the taller man, nestled further into his strong embrace, and gave a soft and somewhat needy gasp as one of Theron's thighs slid in between his own. _None_ of his training could have prepared him for this connection he felt to the other Agent.

Nothing had _ever_ made him feel as good as it felt to lie with Theron. Not even the kiss he'd shared with Lord Cytharat on Makeb.

Having Theron so close was doing things to Carande, and against his better judgment he could feel himself growing hard. Blood rushed south as Theron's muscular thigh kept brushing against him, and involuntarily he rolled his hips to get more of that delicious friction, feeling the front of the loose soft pants he wore getting tighter. The man in his arms was so _beautiful_ with his kind green-golden eyes, his soft brown hair that was gradually losing its spikes as the gel let go, and his beautifully bronzed skin. Carande couldn't help his body's reaction if he tried. In fact, he didn't _want_ to help it. Instead he wanted to wrap himself so tightly around Theron that no one could tell where he ended and Theron began. He wanted to feel Theron's body squeeze him as he slid inside. He wanted to let the SIS Agent take him and feel the exquisite stretch and burn of penetration. He wanted Theron. He _wanted_ Theron.

Theron seemed to realize what was happening because he broke the kiss and glanced down between their bodies, a hint of blush colouring his cheeks. Then, the taller man rolled onto his back on top of the covers, taking Carande with him so that he ended up with his spread legs on either side of Theron's hips. Just like on Rishi, he could feel rather than see the answering hardness in Theron. Their hips shifted into alignment and the taller man let out a soft moan, gazing up at the Cipher Agent with half lidded eyes.

“Carande,” Theron began, eyes opening wider though his cheeks were rapidly flushing with colour and his pupils were blown wide with the evidence of his desire. “Tell me if any of this makes you uncomfortable, and we'll stop.” The SIS agent held up his hand as Carande opened his mouth to protest, so wisely he closed it and allowed Theron to continue. “I _don't_ want to take advantage of you while you're vulnerable, and yesterday you revealed yourself to me in a way that wasn't entirely your choice. This time, I want _you_ to choose. I want _you_ to consider the consequences of a sexual relationship and decide for yourself if they're worth it or not.”

“What about you? Are _you_ comfortable going through with this?” Carande asked, punctuating his question with a caress to Theron's stubbly cheek. As Theron's eyes widened in surprise and the taller man's mouth formed an 'o,' Carande leaned forward to peck him gently on the lips and then pretended to pout. “You were seriously expecting me to take advantage of your kindness and manipulate you into letting me have my wicked way with you?” He gave a soft 'tsk' and waggled a finger at the taller man. “I would _never_. I don't even care if after this we go back to hating each other because we're _forced_ to... I want to cherish every moment spent with you, and I most _definitely_ want you. I want to _feel_ you. I want you to help me forget the pain I endured. Show me how to _live_ , Theron.”

To Carande's surprise, the SIS Agent's eyes grew over-bright, and Theron blinked rapidly to hold those tears at bay.

“The Empire doesn't _deserve_ you, Carande... You were wronged on _so_ many levels and still here you are, opening your heart and your body to me,” the taller man whispered in a voice that was choked with emotion. He reached for Carande's hand, and their fingers intertwined, squeezing each other in a comforting grip, “Do you even have any idea how _beautiful_ you are right now?”

“No, Theron,” Carande replied, truthfully. “I haven't thought of myself as beautiful or desirable in a very long time.”

“Oh, Carande,” Theron's reply came softly and almost sadly, and the taller man's arms wrapped around him in a strong and yet comforting embrace. “I suppose I'll just have to _show_ you, then. I'll have to _show_ you how much I want you.”

Releasing the small hand still clasped in his own, Theron reached up to coax the Cipher Agent down and Carande allowed him to. Their mouths met in a kiss, and the smaller man felt Theron's tongue flick out to tease at him. Parting his lips to allow entrance, Carande seized the opportunity to snake his tongue in alongside of Theron's, invading the taller man's mouth as much as Theron invaded his own, and sinking down into the kiss with a low and needy sound. Theron's mouth tasted exquisitely sweet and spicy from the sauce he'd concocted for the stir-fry, but he could also detect the faintest traces of Caf and something else that must be uniquely Theron. As he sealed the gap between them, he felt rather than saw their hips shifting into alignment.

One kiss bled into two, into three, into four. As they kissed, open-mouthed and somewhat sloppily, one of each Agents' hands began to explore, smoothing down over the sides of their intertwined bodies to grip at each others' asses and pushing hems of shirts upward to caress the lengths of their spines. Their free hands found themselves buried in each others' hair, holding each other close. Their grip on each others' hair tightened and relaxed as their tongues continued their passionate dance. and they ground their cocks against each other through their clothing and humped against each others' thighs like a pair of needy teenagers.

It went on for what felt like forever, kisses occasionally broken as the combined friction made one or both of them gasp or moan, and neither of them showed any sign of slowing down or stopping to catch their breath, In Theron, Carande felt as if he'd finally found someone to call his equal. They were perfectly matched, and someone had _definitely_ shown Theron how to kiss and pleasure a partner. The SIS Agent's tongue caressed and slid against his own in a most sensual manner, and though his motions were shaky and a little clumsy from nerves, he was gentle and considerate. He never gripped at Carande's hair or arse too tightly, and when he touched along Carande's spine it only made him shudder and arch into the touch. There was none of the sting or the scraping of fingernails. Just smooth and slightly ticklish sensations that made his skin come more alive with every passing moment.

Occasionally the taller man would drag the backs of his fingernails up Carande's side, causing the sensations to spread around to the Cipher Agent's chest and causing his nipples to harden and become visible through the thin fabric of his sleeping clothes. The sensitive nubs catching on the fabric of his shirt only made them grow harder and more sensitive, and it helped that Theron's thumb always passed just shy of the left one, teasing it further and making him shudder and squirm.

He did his best to keep up and return the favour, rewarded as Theron squirmed and shuddered just as often.

Eventually, Theron yielded and pulled away, breathing as harshly as if he'd run a marathon. The hem of his shirt had been pushed up and Carande could see a set of well-defined abdominal and pectoral muscles as well as a pair of dark dusky nipples that stood at attention, begging him to touch. He could also see a great deal of darkly tanned skin that was in surprisingly good shape, considering the man was an enemy agent. Then again, maybe Theron had been able to find the time to get his scars removed and properly tended to. Carande's schedule had been less forgiving, so he had not been nearly so fortunate.

Whatever the case, Carande found himself stopping for a moment to admire Therons physique. Just a moment, because... _stars_.

Theron's pupils were blown out and his eyes were stormy and dark with desire. In the depths of his passion they'd turned more green than gold, reminiscent of the bottles that held the finest wines, and the colour contrasted beautifully with his darkly tanned skin and the brown of his hair. The spikes of his hair had almost completely lost their shape now, having been tugged this way and that by Carande's fingers buried deep in them. Some of them flopped forward into Theron's face while still more of them had fallen every which way -- not that Carande was judging. If anything, seeing those perfectly styled spikes all out of alignment made Theron look _more_ desirable instead of less. There was a definite appeal in messing them up so.

Then, their eyes met and time seemed to slow to a crawl, neither man speaking as Carande considered his next move...


	4. Chapter 4

“Theron, are you absolutely sure you want to do this?” Carande asked, breaking Theron out of his silent observation. Though it was trapped between their bodies, Theron could feel his cock throbbing in time with his heartbeat and a bit of precome was beaded at the tip, making an uncomfortable damp spot in the front of his boxers.

“I'm sure,” Theron replied.... “Are you sure you're up for it? You _have_ been through a lot in the past.”

“You were _captured_ and _beaten_ on Rishi, my dear. I'd say we're pretty much even in that regard,” Carande punctuated his statement with a very light thrust of his hips, reminding Theron of their current predicament and causing both of them to let out a pleasured gasp. “If you're alright with taking this farther, then so am I. When it comes to my body I've nothing to hide from you.”

“Then let's get out of these clothes,” said Theron, his hands reaching for the hem of his own shirt. It took a little bit of effort, but soon he'd managed to work the shirt up over his head and wriggle out of it, casting it to the floor. He felt rather than saw Carande wriggling out of his shirt because his hands were busy unbuttoning his fly, taking some of the pressure off of his trapped erection. With a gasp of relief, he pushed the pants down off of his hips, shimmying out of them and kicking them to the floor. Now stripped down to a black pair of boxer briefs, he rolled to face Carande...

... who lay naked beside him, his cock and balls in plain sight. The tip was reddened. The shaft twitched in time with Carande's pulse. It jutted out proudly from a nest of neatly trimmed black hair, which connected to a thin trail leading down Carande's lower abs.

As Theron watched, Carande bit his lower lip and slid a hand down those abs, inviting Theron to look. There was a lightsaber scar that sliced from the left nipple all the way down Carande's torso, wrapping around and stopping at the right hip. There were other scars sprinkled here and there, but the ones that caught Theron's attention the most were a set of perfectly parallel lines on Carande's inner thighs. Lines that looked much neater and much more deliberate than any of the others... Theron allowed his gaze to drift lower, looking directly at the scars and then lifting his gaze to look Carande right in the eye.

“Is there something else you want to tell me before we continue?” He asked, gently, not wanting to pull off his underwear just yet.

At first Carande seemed not to have heard him, but then he sighed softly.

“I was in a bad way after I was tortured, and I was trying to feel something. _Anything_ to remind myself that I'm alive,” he explained, giving a little shrug of his shoulders. “I don't expect you to understand why I felt compelled to self-harm... I just know that I did it to feel something other than that all-consuming _numbness_. I felt like I was _dead_ inside. I wanted to feel alive again.”

“I'm so sorry you've had to go through all of that,” Theron told him, reaching out to stroke one of the scarred thighs. He allowed his fingertips to glide over Carande's skin, the motion carrying his hand up and along the hipbone, stopping just above the curve of the smaller man's arse. He left his hand there for a moment, letting the warmth of Carande's skin sink into his hand.

In response, Carande hooked his thumbs into the elastic of Theron's boxer-briefs and gently pushed them down, freeing his cock from its prison of fabric. It sprang up immediately to stand at attention in its nest of brown curls, the tip reddened and beaded with precome. Like with Carande, there was a thin trail of hair leading down his lower abs, connecting to the hair at its base

With Theron's underwear pulled down, it was a simple matter of squirming the rest of the way out of it and kicking it to the floor.

Now both gloriously naked, they moved closer to each other and Theron pulled Carande into his arms. A soft hitch of breath was the smaller's response as their hips came back into alignment, but after a moment he settled in comfortably, looking up at Theron with adoring amber eyes. His face was so different here in this moment. He looked so soft, so vulnerable, and oh so _beautiful_.

Theron couldn't have stopped it if he tried. A hand came up of its own volition and gently cupped one of Carande's cheeks, gently tracing the thumb over the scars under one of those beautiful eyes, He watched as Carande swallowed hard and then closed his eyes, pressing into his touch. Then Carande's hand came up to Theron's chest and his thumb flicked over a nipple, and the tender moment was broken as he gasped, arching into the teasing caress.

He glanced down at Carande, and found himself staring into an intense amber gaze. Carande's eyes were like _fire_.

“I _want_ you, Theron...” Carande whispered. “Will you let me have you?”

-o-

“Yes,” Theron replied. “Yes, Carande... I _will_.”

With those words, Theron grabbed onto Carande and rolled him so he lay on his back with Theron on top. Before Carande could protest at the sudden change of positions, Theron's mouth found its way to Carande's neck and he felt Theron kissing and nibbling his way down. Sighing at the pleasant sensation, he laid back to allow Theron to continue, a hand coming up into Theron's hair to gently guide him to the most sensitive places. Far below and trapped against Theron's, his cock twitched in time with his rapid heartbeat, and he could feel in the answering twitches of Theron's that the taller man was just as worked up as he was.

“Top or bottom?” Carande asked, nudging Theron to get his attention first.

“What would you prefer?” Theron replied, breaking away to answer Carande's question with one of his own.

“I switch, which is why I'm asking you,” Carande told him, leaning up to kiss the tip of Theron's nose. “Whatever you'd prefer, you'll have no problems or complaints out of me... though I'll warn you that it's been a while and I might not last long.”

“In that case, top,” said Theron. “D'you have anything we can use to make this easier?”

-o-

Carande's answer to Theron's question was to reach up behind himself and knock in a pattern on the metal headboard. A secret compartment slid open to reveal a bottle of lube, condoms of varying sizes, some antibacterial wipes to clean themselves up with, and what appeared to be a _toy_. That phallic-shaped, purple object in the corner of the compartment certainly _looked_ like a toy. It was large enough, perhaps a little longer than life-sized to allow for ease of use, and there was a sheen to it. It looked well used.

Stars... Did Carande use _that_ on himself very often?

“Leave the condoms. I want to feel you.” Carande told him. “I've been checked out by Dr. Lokin and given the all-clear. No diseases.”

“Well, I haven't had time to be with anyone other than you, and you already know I'm clean,” Theron replied, reaching for the bottle of lube and bypassing the condoms entirely. He read the label to see what type it was, and was pleased to see that not only was it water based, but it was also of a very good quality. He popped the cap and squirted some into his right palm to warm it, only looking up once he'd made sure the bottle was closed and set to the side but within reach. He'd need to use it again after all.

Having seen Theron busy himself with the lube, Carande had changed positions. He had tucked a pillow under the small of his back and spread his legs, putting the rosy little pucker of his entrance on full display. A hand had been stroking up and down his cock as he teased it and kept himself interested, but now that Theron's eyes were upon him again he reached for the bottle of lube. He wasted no time in popping the top and liberally coating three of the fingers of his right hand with it.

“Touch and slick yourself up for me,” Carande said to Theron, his voice low and sultry as he gazed up with half-lidded eyes. “Let me watch you while I get myself ready.” There was a smirk on the smaller man's face as he spoke, and then he reached down, tracing a well lubed fingertip around the little ring of muscle. The fingertip quickly delved inside and he slid the whole digit in up to the knuckle, giving a low moan at the intrusion as he began to stretch himself open. His other hand moved quickly to grip himself at the base of his cock and then he began to stroke it gently in time with the gentle probing of the finger.

Not wanting to disappoint, Theron swallowed hard before reaching down with his lubed hand. He gripped himself at the base and then began to stroke, coating himself from base to tip. In front of him. Carande pushed a second finger inside of himself with a moan and Theron closed his eyes for a moment, imagining what it would feel like to push into that tight channel. He gasped as the mental image sent a shock of pleasure skittering down his spine, and he thrust into his own tight grip, feeling the shifting of foreskin underneath his fingers. He could hear his own breathing get louder at the thought of being inside of Carande. In his hand, he could feel himself growing impossibly harder, another bead of precome forming at the tip to replace the one he'd spread around.

In front of Theron, Carande had scissored himself open enough to add the third finger, and now Theron could hear the soft, slick sounds of well-lubricated fingers thrusting in and out of an equally well lubed entrance. Occasionally, the smaller man shuddered and gasped as he hit something inside of himself, gripping the base of his cock hard to keep from ending things too soon. Carande had clearly learned to pleasure himself and was comfortable and familiar with his own body. It was a fact that Theron appreciated.

“Are you ready?” Theron asked, the tone slightly breathless because of the pleasure coursing through his veins.

“Yes,” Carande replied, equally as breathless as he'd watched Theron stroke himself and had tried to match the thrusts of his fingers with the stroking of Theron's hand. His pupils were blown wide again, and the thin rings of amber around his pupils seemed to glow like flames. He pulled his fingers out of himself with a wet, squelching sort of noise and wiped them on the sheets, Then, he tilted his hips to a more favourable angle. “I'm ready, so take me, I don't think I can wait any longer,”

-o-

Hearing Carande's plea, Theron let go of himself and crawled forward. He nudged Carande's thighs farther apart. Then, with one hand guiding the head of his cock, he slowly pushed inside. It felt every bit as good as Carande had imagined, if not _better_. There was an exquisite stretch and burn of penetration as inch by inch, Theron sank further until he was finally buried to the hilt. Once there, he stopped for a moment, graciously allowing for Carande to adjust to his impresive size.

Their eyes met, and Theron swooped down, capturing Carande's lips in a sweet, gentle kiss that lasted all of one moment.

Then Theron shifted, pulled out, angled his hips, and thrust gently, teasing at that spot inside of him that made him see _stars_.

“Ahhhh,” Carande broke away from the kiss and gasped, feeling his cock jump at the sensation. He willed himself to relax as much as he could as he felt Theron shift again, lining up for another thrust. This time when Theron thrust, it hit his sweet spot firmly,

“Oh _fuck_ ,” he moaned, arching his spine and rocking his hips against Theron's.

“ _Stars_... You're so _tight_ ,” Theron rasped, as Carande felt his muscles involuntarily clenching around him, but it didn't stop the taller man from thrusting a third time, or a fourth, or a _fifth_... Slowly but steadily, he was picking up speed. There was a slight squelching sound caused by the amount of lube they had used, but it served its purpose. He was slipping in and out with relative ease, and with every motion of his hips he glanced against that spot inside of Carande, causing him to gasp and let out needy little sounds..

Reduced to incoherent moaning in under five minutes... how _embarrassing_. Or it would be if Carande had any fucks left to give.

 _Then again_...

-o-

“ _Faster and harder_ , Theron,” Carande told him, once they'd established a steady rhythm. “I'm not going to break.”

Carande's thighs wrapped around him on either side and the smaller man tucked his feet in behind Theron's arse, pulling him forward and forcing him to move a little faster. Theron picked up the pace, angling his hips to strike Carande's sweet spot over and over, and was rewarded with the sight of _Cipher Nine_ coming undone beneath him. Most of Carande's golden skin had flushed with a rosy hue. It dusted over his cheeks, forehead, chin, nose, and even the tips of his ears. It spread down along his collarbone, and it tinted his shoulders a rosy hue. Neglected between them, Carande's cock was steadily leaking precome, and a small puddle of it had formed on Carande's lower abs which was where the head of it rested. The tip of it was so deeply red it was almost _purple_.

And oh, the _sounds_ Carande was making. The Cipher Agent had lost any semblance of coherency and instead was reduced to enthusiastic gasps and low moans of pleasure, punctuated by the rocking of his hips to meet Theron's thrusts and help him hit all the right places inside of him. Every time Theron hit his sweet spot, his moans got a little bit louder, his toes curled, and his hands fisted the sheets on either side of him. As they continued to move, bodies in sync with each other, their eyes met and locked in an intense and passionate gaze. Amber and green-gold with pupils blown wide, yet there were emotions there. A deep understanding.

Then, Theron could feel it. The beginning of the end. A growing tightness low in his belly that had his balls beginning to pull upward and closer to his body as at the same time, Carande voluntarily clenched around him, making things tighter. Adding friction.

Theron couldn't help but let out a shout as he felt release creeping up on him.

Seeing that Theron was close, Carande reached up to pull him down and crush their mouths together in a kiss, muffling their cries into their mouths as he, too, seemed to be getting closer to release. His body trembled with every thrust and the fingers of the hand he hadn't lubed burrowed into Theron's hair, keeping him close... Theron _felt_ rather than saw Carande's other hand going down between them, felt the knuckles graze against his lower abs before Carande wrapped it around himself and began to jerk himself off, relieving some of the pressure in his cock as he stroked himself in time with Theron's thrusts,

“Stars, Theron. I'm going to-” Carande warned, but his words were choked off by a moan that just about had Theron lose control.

“Do it, Carande,” Theron told him, through gritted teeth. It was taking everything he had to keep up the pace and not allow himself to _explode_. “Come for me. It's okay.”

To Theron's great surprise, _come_ was exactly what Carande did.

-o-

As the first pulses of release washed over him, Carande arched off of the bed.

He was vaguely aware of the fact that he was screaming Theron's name, but it didn't matter because then he was coming harder than he'd ever done in his life. Maybe it was the very attractive man who kept thrusting even as his muscles clenched and unclenched around him, stroking his sweet spot and making his orgasm more intense. Then again, maybe it was the fact that he'd been pent-up for months. Whatever it was, it felt like he'd died and gone to a peaceful place as fireworks exploded behind his closed eyelids and he erupted, coating his own still stroking hand and his abs with ropes of hot, sticky semen.

And, _oh_ , there _Theron_ went. Carande felt the other man tense up, thrust once or twice more, and re-opened his eyes in time to see Theron shout his name and arch his back before driving himself in to the hilt and releasing deep inside of him in hot, liquid pulses. Those beautiful green-golden eyes were closed and he shuddered all over as the aftershocks of pleasure skittered down his spine.

Then, he considerately pulled out of Carande and rolled to the side before his orgasm took all of his strength, landing on his back.

For a moment both of them lay on their backs, breathing harshly as they came back down from the high. They shared a sideways look, and then Theron began to _laugh_. It was a full, rich sound that had Carande's lips twitching. Soon, he too had begun to laugh.

-o-

“That was fucking _incredible_ ,” Theron said, after a moment, when he'd gained some control of his emotional responses.

“Mmm-hmmm,” came the quiet reply as Carande reached up behind him and fetched the antibacterial wipes. A pleasantly citrus smell filled the small room as the smaller man pulled one out of the container and made to wipe the cooling semen from his hands.

“Wait,” Theron reached out and grabbed the wrist of the hand that was still covered in semen. He saw Carande's eyes go wide for a moment, and then he let out a sigh of approval and relaxed his arm, allowing Theron to pull his hand closer.

Without a further word, Theron reached for another of the antibacterial wipes and began to carefully clean Carande's hand for him, being careful to get into all of the spaces between the slender digits. He removed all traces of semen and lube and when the hand was finally clean he let it go. Then he turned his attention to Carande's torso and gently wiped it clean as well.

“Let me clean you off, then,” Carande told him, and he nodded his consent, laying back.

Carande's touch was extremely gentle as he carefully wiped all of the lube and any lingering semen away from Theron's groin. He cleansed Theron's softened and overly sensitized penis with great care, being sure to get in under the foreskin and wash away every last trace. Instead of wincing, Theron found himself sighing softly at the gentle touch and the soothing coolness of the wipes.

Not only was Carande a willing partner, but he was also _considerate_. This was the gentlest that anyone had ever touched him.

Theron hadn't felt so cared for in a very long time.

-o-

“C'mere and let me hold you,” Theron murmured, after Carande had wadded up the used wipes and chucked them into the trash bin across the room, put the bottle of lube back into the secret compartment, and closed the compartment with another series of knocks. He turned his head to look at Theron, and saw that the taller man was laying on top of the covers with an arm outstretched.

“Don't take this the wrong way, but shouldn't we get under the covers?” Carande suggested, a gently teasing tone in his voice.

“Oh, right.” Theron had the decency to blush.

Together they rose from the bed, but only for a moment. They flipped back the purple bedspread and black sheets. Theron climbed in between the sheets immediately, but Carande lingered just long enough to turn off the lights before climbing in himself and pu;lling the covers up over them both. Now, nestled into their cozy nest of sheets and blankets, Carande _finally_ allowed Theron to pull him closer and wrap him in a loose embrace. Carande's head came to rest on Theron's chest, and his arms wrapped around Theron's waist and their legs tangled up together.

“I'm probably going to be sore in the morning when all of these endorphins wear off,” said Carande, with a wry grin.

“Hah... I bet,” Theron replied.

“It was nice, though... and you were amazing.” Carande punctuated his sentence with a gentle kiss to Theron's chest. “I haven't _laughed_ like that in a good, long while. I almost can't remember the last time I felt so giddy after sex.”

“I could say the same for you.” The arms wrapped around him tightened only slightly as Theron pulled him even closer. For a while, neither of them said a word. Instead, they lay in each other's arms, warm and relaxed as they basked in the afterglow

Eventually, Theron drifted off to sleep, soothed by Carande's warm weight resting against his chest. Carande could tell by the way the taller man's breathing had changed, growing deep and even. Being trusted by this beautiful man enough that Theron could sleep in his presence brought a lump of emotion to Carande's throat, and he swallowed hard. Then, he leaned in close and pressed a soft and loving kiss to Theron's forehead, causing the man to squirm closer to him in his sleep and smile.

Then, lulled by the sounds of Theron's breathing and the warmth and strength of the arms around him, Carande drifted away.

For the second time in a row, he slept without any nightmares.


End file.
